Monday, January 03, 2005

A little bit older

It's a new year and I am alittle bit older, I guess we all are. If you think this is going to be a post about revelation and rejuvination in the new year, I suggest you stop reading now. I'm in a sad mood, and feel like doing nothing but reflecting.

It's music that has put me here, as usual. I'm sure you all have a particular song or 10 that remind you of a place, a person an event....

The one that I heard today reminds me of relationships. Funny thing about being single, you spend a lot of time (I'm sure unhealthy) thinking. Thinking about people you've dated, thinking what went wrong, remembering why it all went wrong. And for the most part you know it's the right thing in the long run. Life, however, is so hard to look at in the long run. It's tough to not get wrapped up in this moment right now, thinking that it will never pass, that you will be stuck forever. I know though that this is mearly a state of mind. One that seems at times uncontrolable but a state of mind nonetheless.

Three of my ex-boyfriends have become engaged before the turn of this new year. It's probably hitting me harder than I'm willing to admit, mostly because of my current state of instability I suppose. It's alittle much to take, but at the same time I guess good to get it over with all at once.

It's certinaly not how I imagined it to be, but then again I guess it never is.

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