Thursday, June 30, 2005

Law of the Land (TX)

In Texas it's against the law to shoot someone in the back....

"You might not be able to shoot em in the back but you can shoot em in the leg until they turn around.....because eventually....they're gonna get curious" --Ron White

Monday, June 27, 2005

Did you know?

Some band-aids have the following Caution on their packaging:

Caution: The Packaging of This Product Contains Natural Rubber Latex Which May Cause Allergic Reactions.

So how does that natural rubber latex thing work exactly? Are there like trees in Idaho somewhere that grow it? What's the harvest schedule on that? Inquiring minds want to know....

Law of the Land (MA)

In Massachusetts it's against the law to have, maintain and use a grill on your deck.

Seriously people I can't make this stuff up.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Summer in New England

Or as I like to call it Texas winter. So it's been hot here the last few days, I will certainly grant the new englanders that. No sarcastic double quotes around hot, but dude I've seen worse. You know during the depths of the New England winter just a few short weeks ago I was sure that by the time summer got here as it has today, people here would I dunno lighten up well I dunno......THE SUN IS OUT!!

You know the SUN, that big bright glowing thing that we haven't seen in oh say a good NINE months!!

Oh how niave I was to think this. No no there is no happiness in New England to be had even when the sun IS shinning. It's like a constant citizenship to Mudville here. Whinning and complaining about snow and ice and cold has now turned into similar sentiments about the heat. "It's too hot" "I can't go outside" "You can't do anything in this" I think maybe I'm missing a conspiricay? Do I perhaps not own the proper gear/fortitude to go out instead in the 24 INCHES OF FUCKING SNOW when my car thermostat reads ZERO!!

Seriously? I mean really are they serious? Hey I'm from Texas most days in the summer I'm glad to just walk outside and be able to functionally breath, because well frankly there are days in the summer in Texas where that's not really advisable.

Well would you lookie here, New England has taught me to bitch. ;-)

Ah well no one said I couldn't learn something, I'll leave with this last exchange I overheard between a recently transplanted southerner and a new englander:

New Englander: Where are you from?
Arkansas Man: Arkansas ma'am.
New Englander: Ooohhh it's hot down there, I don't know how you stand it!
Arkansas Man: I don't know quite what you mean ma'am?
NewEnglander: Well it gets so hot down there in the summer you can't even open your car door!
Me to Arkansas man: Don't worry it gets so cold here that your door freezes shut!
New Englander to Me: dirty look
Me to New Englander: smirk

Random Thought

In elementary and junior high I remember they use to give each of us a fitness test at some point in the year. One of the "measurements" was to see if you could touch your toes. Leave it to federal legislation to think up something so ingenious as this. Now twenty some odd years later I'm sitting here with my legs outstretched in front of me thinking: "Hey wait a minute if my legs were shorter and/or my arms were longer, I could certainly touch my toes no problem, what kind of test is THAT!!" Do you see what extra time on my hands does? Huh Huh?

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Did you miss me?

Well I finally did it. I took a vacation for the first time in a year. I guess you could call my 7 months of unemployment a vacation, but if you've ever been unemployed you know that's not a vacation. Why you may ask? Because see on a vacation not only are you "away" from work but you're also getting paid, going out to eat, buying little sovineirs. I can verify that while unemployed you are "away" from work but you are not getting paid or going out to eat, but you are collecting sovieners, slips of paper from the unemployment office mostly, oh and a whole lot of bitterness, does it show? ;-)

Anyway, vacation was great, back out to the west. Colorado to visit the family, home of big mountains, open spaces and 7 straight days of sunshine. Whoohoo! Funny the things you miss, and the shock you have when you finally have access to them, like some types of food, sunshine, space, even just the way people are, just nice to feel comfortable again even for a little while.

Frankly also it gave me perspective on this place too. I feel a lot better about it, not so trapped as I did before. Guess that is what vacations are really for....we'll see how long it know me always the optimist. ;-)

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Aren't you excited?

I don't know why but no not really. I was offered a permanent position with the company I've been working for over the last year.

I got nothin.