This > < Close

For all of you out there who might think for one second, just ONE second that I am cool in any way, shape, or form, this post will completely negate that. I know I can tell you want to read ahead because you just can't wait.

For those of you who really know me, you will only shake your head because you know the extent of my dorkdum at times. I know what you're thinking "At Times?!?!" All I have to say to you people is shut up! :-p

Ok, so perhaps alittle prequel to my fall from grace, I think (well ok I know) I have a thing for cowboys sometimes. You know the way guys have a thing for like cheerleaders or hooter girls or whatever. You wouldn't necessarily take the hooter girl home to Mom, but that doesn't mean you haven't in-the-first-3-seconds-of-holding-her-in-your-line-of-sight thought of every possible....um I digress.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh right cowboys.

So part of my normal morning routine is to get up and turn on VH1 or MTV in hopes that the apocalypse has finally happened and that they are in turn playing videos. One such morning I was lucky enough to encounter such an event, and VH1 was playing the tail end of the latest Nelly/Tim McGraw collaboration on a song called Over and Over again.

Now, while I haven't honestly paid much attention to Tim McGraw as a cowboy or an artist, I sat down to watch. I don't know if somehow VH1 has figured out a way to lace their videos with cocaine or I was just still recovering from being awake, but I swear to GOD that Tim McGraw looked RIGHT at ME! He tilted his head underneath that black hat, and gave that sort of half elvis lip curl and that was it. I was hooked and sad to say still am.

Once I got to work that day I found the full video online, and have since played it an obscene number of times, always catching that little lip curl at the end.

Um yea....so are you ready? Ready for the end to all my coolness...here it is:

I'm about this > < close to going out and buying a Tim McGraw poster and hanging it on the ceiling, oh yea I am soooo close.

What 1 degree means to me

1 pair thermal underwear pants
1 pair thick corduroy pants
1 pair thin polyester socks
1 pair thick cotton socks
1 bodysuit
1 polyester/cotton blend sweater
1 cotton sweatshirt (I use to wear when weather got "cold" in Texas)
1 fleece zip up jacket
1 cotton lined zip up jacket
1 scarf wrapped 3 times
1 hat
1 pair gloves
1 pair snow boots
The heat in my car NOT kicking in, until I get to work....priceless

5:48 A.M.

The time the neighbor living above chose to apparently spontaneously jump out of bed and run to the front door. Not that I would have minded this necessarily, IF IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE EVERY STEP WAS COMING THROUGH MY CEILING ONTO MY HEAD.

I digress.

The Snow and I

I have officially lost count of how many times it has snowed here now. And I realized a few things this morning as I once again cleaned off my truck, for what seems like the upteenth time this week.

The first time it snowed here, I will admit I was kinda excited, it was fluffy and pretty and a beautiful clean clear white. Being from Texas as you may or may not be able to imagine, I didn't have much experience with snow, so I didn't know any better back then...in November.

But since then oh I've learned a few things...

1) The first time I cleaned off my truck, I took my time, scraped all the windows, brushed off the top and the hood, dusted off he bumpers and the fenders, so you know I would be safe and safe to other drivers, blah blah blah. Today, if I could have gotten away with it, I would have just sat in my car and run the windshield wipers until the front window was clear, but because of the thickness of snow, I had to get out, and brush the window off and do a little scraping (only the front window mind you). Screw the top, the sides, the hood, the everything. Enough already!

2) There are few things more annoying than the constant scraping of a snow plow outside your apartment window about every 2 to 4 hours. EVERY 2 TO 4 HOURS!! *scrap* *scrap* *sssscccrraaaaaaaappppppp* This is what insanity looks like people.

3) The one thing more annoying than the snow plow, is the guy who parks his car right underneath your awning scraping his windshield at 6 am in the morning. *scrap* *scrap* *scrap* Can't you just lick it off?!

4) Snow in your hair is kinda cute and sort of sexy, it's when it sticks to your jacket and your gloves and then gets on your leather seats that kinda becomes annoying. Ok really more than annoying, more like enraging, this car was expensive god damnit, I don't want melting snow anywhere IN IT or NEAR IT! *deep breaths*

5) When your Point A to Point B walking paths are now covered by stacked 20 foot snow banks from the parking lot, there is no love for the snow anymore! None. No. Not uh. Never.

I have officially become a new englander in my attitude toward the snow "When is this shit gonna end!?!"

Ode to Bed

Oh how I love thee Bed
So warm and cozy and soft
Oh how I love your sweet smell
The smell of sleep

Oh how you cocoon me in love
Not like that gushy love
Not like that have to put up with your crap love
Just that non judgemental
Come to me child
Love.

Oh how your sheets are like
a cool pond in the heat of summer
And a warm crackling fire
in the depths of winter

Oh how you embrace thee
With no harsh words or sounds
Well except for the alarm clock
But that's really not your fault

Oh how I wish you could hold one more
Ah well
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow.

A little bit older

It's a new year and I am alittle bit older, I guess we all are. If you think this is going to be a post about revelation and rejuvination in the new year, I suggest you stop reading now. I'm in a sad mood, and feel like doing nothing but reflecting.

It's music that has put me here, as usual. I'm sure you all have a particular song or 10 that remind you of a place, a person an event....

The one that I heard today reminds me of relationships...my relationships. Funny thing about being single, you spend a lot of time (I'm sure unhealthy) thinking. Thinking about people you've dated, thinking what went wrong, remembering why it all went wrong. And for the most part you know it's the right thing in the long run. Life, however, is so hard to look at in the long run. It's tough to not get wrapped up in this moment right now, thinking that it will never pass, that you will be stuck forever. I know though that this is mearly a state of mind. One that seems at times uncontrolable but a state of mind nonetheless.

Three of my ex-boyfriends have become engaged before the turn of this new year. It's probably hitting me harder than I'm willing to admit, mostly because of my current state of instability I suppose. It's alittle much to take, but at the same time I guess good to get it over with all at once.

It's certinaly not how I imagined it to be, but then again I guess it never is.